Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
