at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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