Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
