i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
