Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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