My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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