legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
