Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its not stalking. its research.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Let's paint friendship bongs
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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