Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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