yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
