I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she smelled like a LAN party
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
