A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
