I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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