She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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