apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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