I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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