just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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