btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
