You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He felt like a one man threesome
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
