we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
