We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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