i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
