tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
