So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
