I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
