Just fell off a train. Bad.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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