We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
