ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
