There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
