How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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