Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
