The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
