Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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