the new term for farting is butt boxing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
