Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
