conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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