question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
