Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
