I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
