Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
