i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
