i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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