i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
