It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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