I want to walk on stilts...naked
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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