I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
