My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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