would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
