Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
