He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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