this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
