Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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