wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
