i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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