She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
